A dialect found mostly in East London, where people obviously have more time to say what they want to say, and are more paranoid about being overheard. The principle is to decide what it is you want to say, and then find words which bear no real relation to what you’re going to say, but which rhyme loosely with your phrase.
Sometimes the connection is totally obscure. For example, ‘Bottle and Glass’ (Arse) was obviously a bit racy, so it is put at one remove with ‘Aristotle’ = Bottle. This is then contracted again so that you say ‘Aris’, which is almost exactly what you started out trying not to say. Some secret language…
Cockney rhyming slang used to be a form of Pidgin English designed so that the working Eastenders could have a right good chin wag without the toffs knowing that they were talking about them. These days people just make it up for a laugh, so young streetwise Londoners say things like ‘Ah mate, ‘ad a right mare I did, got chucked out me pad, blew me lump, and now fings wiv the trouble and strife have gone all pete tong!’
Here’s our horribly incomplete list of popular Cockney rhyming slang. If you know any others, why not post them to the comments below?
| Cockney | Meaning | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Adam and Eve | Believe | I don’t bloody Adam and Eve it! |
| Alan Whickers | Knickers | Okay, okay, keep yer Alans on! |
| Apple Fritter | Bitter (beer) | They’ve got some new Apple at the Battle. |
| Apples and Pears | Stairs | Get yer Bacons up the Apples and Pears. |
| Aris | Arse | Nice Aris! |
| Army and Navy | Gravy | Pass the Army, son. |
| Artful Dodger | Lodger | I’ve got an Artful to help pay the rent. |
| Ayrton Senna | Tenner (ten pound note) | You owe me an Ayrton. |
| Bacon and Eggs | Legs | She’s got a lovely set of Bacons. |
| Bang Allan Border | Bang out of order | He’s bang Allan (used when someone does something nasty to someone else). |
| Barn Owl (Barney) | Row (argument) | ‘Ad a Barney with me Artful ‘cos ‘e refused to give me my Ayrton’s. |
| Barnet Fair | Hair | She’s just got her Barnet chopped. |
| Boat Race | Face | Smashed ‘im in the Boat. |
| Battle Cruiser | Boozer (off license) | I’m off to the Battle to get some Apple. |
| Bottle and Glass | Arse | He fell on his Bottle. |
| Brass bands | Hands | I shook him by the Brass. |
| Bread and Honey | Money | He’s got loads of Bread. |
| Britney Spears | Beers | Give us a couple of Britney’s will ya? |
| Brown Bread | Dead | He’s Brown Bread. |
| Bubble Bath | Laugh | You’re ‘avin’ a Bubble. |
| Butcher’s Hook | Look | Take a Butcher’s at that! |
| Chevy Chase | Face | He fell on ‘is Chevy. |
| China Plate | Mate | How are you, me old China? |
| Christian Slater | Later | See ya Slater. |
| Cream Crackered | Knackered (tired/broken) | I’m Cream Crackered! |
| Currant Bun | Sun | The Currant Bun’s hot today. |
| Daisy Roots | Boots | ‘Ere, put on yer Daisies. |
| Danny Marr | Car | I’ll give you a lift in the Danny. |
| David Gower | Shower | Give us half an hour mate I’ve gotta go for a David. |
| Dicky Bird | Word | He hasn’t said a Dicky in hours. |
| Dog and Bone | Phone | She’s always on the Dog. |
| Donkey’s Ears | Years | Ain’t seen you in Donkeys. |
| Drum’n'Bass | Face | Look me in the Drum. |
| Dudley (Dudley Moore) | A score, or 20 pounds | Loan me a Dudley? |
| Elephant’s Ears | Beers | Get the Elephants in, mate! |
| Frog & Toad | Road | I was walking down the Frog… |
| Ham’n'cheesy | Easy | Ham’n'cheesy does it. |
| Hank Marvin | Starving (hungry) | I’m Hank Marvin. |
| Jam Jar | Car | Me Jam Jar’s Cream Crackered. |
| Jimmy Riddle | Piddle (urinate) | I really need to go for a Jimmy. |
| Joanna | Piano | He’s great on the Joanna. |
| Khyber Pass | Arse | He kicked him up the Khyber. |
| Lady Godiva | Fiver (five pound note) | Lend us a Lady, mate. |
| Lee Marvin | Starving | I’m bloody Lee Marvin mate. |
| Lemon Squeezy | Easy | It was Lemon, mate. |
| Lionel Blairs | Flares | Look at the Lionels on ‘im. |
| Loaf of Bread | Head | That’s using the old Loaf. |
| Mince Pies | Eyes | You’ve got lovely Mince Pies my dear. |
| Mork and Mindy | Windy | It’s a little bit Mork and Mindy today, innit? |
| Mother Hubbard | Cupboard | There’s no grub in the Mother. |
| Nanny Goat | Coat | How much for the Nanny? |
| Nelson Mandela | Stella (Artois) | Mine’s a pint of Nelson! |
| Nuclear Sub | Pub | Fancy a quick one down the Nuclear? |
| Oily Rag | Fag (cigarette) | Gis’ an Oily, mate. |
| Pen and Ink | Stink | Eurgh! That Pen and Ink’s! |
| Pete Tong | Wrong | Everything?s gone Pete Tong. |
| Pinch (steal) | Half Inch | Someone’s half-inched me Ayrton. |
| Plate of Meat | Street | I was walking down the Plate… |
| Plates of Meat | Feet | I’ve been on me Plates all day. |
| Pony | £25 | Lend me a Pony? |
| Pony and Trap | Crap | This game’s a bit Pony. |
| Pork Pies (Porkie Pies) | Lies | He’s always telling Porkies. |
| Queen Mum | Bum | Get off your Queen Mum. |
| Rabbit & Pork | Talk | She Rabbits on a bit. |
| Raspberry Tart | Fart | That Raspberry bloody Pen and Inks. |
| Richard the Third | Turd | That bloke’s a complete Richard. |
| Rosie Lee | Tea | If you’re brewing a pot, I’ll have a Rosie. |
| Round The Houses | Trousers | Take a Butcher’s at those Rounds! |
| Ruby Murray | Curry | I’m going for a Ruby. |
| Saucepan Lid | Kid | He’s only gone and had a Saucepan. |
| Septic Tank | Yank | Well, ‘es a bloody Septic, inni? |
| Sky Rocket | Me Skies are empty. | |
| Steam Tug | Do something stupid (Steam tug = Mug = Fool) | He went steaming ahead and did it anyway. |
| Stoke-on-Trent | Bent (criminal) | He’s totally Stoke. |
| Sweeney Todd | Flying Squad (Police) | Here come the Sweeney. |
| Syrup of Figs | Wig | Check out the Syrup on ‘is head. |
| Tea Leaf | Thief | Watch it, he’s a bloody Tea Leaf. |
| Tit for tat | Hat | Has anyone seen my Titfer? |
| Tom and Dick | Sick | He’s feeling a bit Tom. |
| Tom Foolery | Jewellery | I gave me Trouble some Tom Foolery for Christmas. |
| Trouble and Strife | Wife | Just had a Barney with me Trouble. |
| Two and Eight | State (of anguish) | He’s in a right old Two and Eight. |
| Uncle Dick | Sick | He’s just been Uncle Dick over me new Whistle. |
| Vera Lynns | Skins (tobacco paper) | Pass the Veras, mate, and I’ll roll up. |
| Weasel & Stoat | Coat | Pull on yer Weasel. |
| Whistle and Flute | Suit | I just got a new Whistle. |